Bellezza Mista
I am 21 and adopted at first into a home that at the time only 5 five children and that with me and my 2 sibling then 3 weeks later that number then changed into 6.Well before i was adopted i was living in a foster home PG County in with my 2 other sibling because of the abusive and drug situation that involved my birth parents. Before we were taken we endured the abuse of both parents but one more than the other we had to deal with that abuse until the fate fully night in 1996 when my little brother was smashed head first to cement floor by our birth mother who has a mental illness. That night changed are live forever we were taken away and put in saint Anne's for 6 months and then we were put in the foster care system and were in there for 2 1/2 years . while we were in foster care we had the privilege to go to the same school as our older sister we also had visitation with our birth parents and that continued even after we were adopted 2 1/2 years. After we were adopted my siblings and I had to adjust to the the new surroundings, we had to undergo a lot of work which included the one thing i still have a problem with which is CONTROLLING OUR ANGER which i don't think will ever change not for as long as I live people really don't and will never understand that almost everything triggers me especially now and yes people still try to fix me but i am sorry to say that I am not fixable at this point in time. To this day i continue to but heads with almost all my older and 2 younger brothers under why? well its just something that i have not grown out of its also the reason that i really have stayed to myself and confine my self in in my room at least 10-17 hours out of each day unless I go out. My parents and my siblings agree that I am different than everyone else which is completely true from the way I talk to my sexuality which caused a lot of arguments between me and my parents, Do people understand it at all? well I can you that answer and that is a big NO WAY IN HELL it is never ever going to change which is hard to live with but I can't control what they say at all we just have agree to disagree. With in the last 2 year I was diagnosed the same mental disorder that my birth mother has no one realized it until all hell broke loose and I became a ticking time bomb I can't even remember what went down but I at that point was a danger to my self and the people around me and if anyone asked my parents how bad it was they wouldn't even be able to tell anyone in just 24 hours my parents will start from the very beginning to now . Since being diagnosed with this disorder I have had a hard time excepting what I have. A lot of people believe that person with a mental disorder can be cured with medicine well that not they case because all mental illnesses chronic and not curable at all a person with a mental disorder will have it till they die and yes the medicine that is out there does help control to a point but will not in any way control it.
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