The Truth

One asked me if I was going to break up with my girl if things got hard and I told this person"there way no way in hell that was going to happen". People are just so heartless and pathetic to even think that at all and  why in the hell would you even ask me a horrible question like that. When I feel in love with her I feel in love with a person who is priceless in every way and a person who does have a past and yes I love her no matter what, her past doesn't bother me at all and her past is just that the past and nothing else. I literally will do everything to protect her and make her happy yes things will get hard but that is nothing to the priceless love that we share. I am completely a person who loves to the fullest and I am in this to the end. Love is forever love doesn't end because thing get hard!!!

My girl valerie asked me one day in september if my girlfriend was the One and I ask her why she would ask me that question and she looked me dead in the eyes and told me " Rita I have been friends with you for a while now and have seen you at you extreme worst and lowest point and I don't want to see you get hurt" and I told her as she continued to look me  dead in the eyes "Val my girlfriend is the One and she is one of the few that cant hurt me at all and that she is one of the few that can tickle the shit out of me even after I drop to the floor without her throat being destroyed " and I proceeded to tell her about my girlfriend after I was done telling her Valerie went from protective to relaxed. Me and Valerie then started planning her wedding which she asked me to be in!!!

In september I was reminded that life is more precious then anything else and everything was worth nothing . I almost lost my beautiful girlfriend twice due to health issues and also that month I with the help of a young man got my friend Tisha to stop the cutting and other things. I was reminded that life was way to short for all the drama and bullshit. That is why I went on my Facebook and did the following:
*Blocked
*Un friended people why did I do that well because of the following:
*Controlling
*Extremely Controlling
*Drama
*Bullshit
*Nosey
*Ass kissers
*No good sobs
*leches
*Ticks
*Toxic
*Poison
*Death
*complainers
*nitpickers
*Acid
*Catholic Drama
*Extreme Catholic Crap
*Anti equality crap
*Boring Catholic crap
*Judgment crap
*The I know everything in the world/ I am God crap
*The I am way better than you crap
*The I am a saint shit
*The I am without sin shit

I have completely been cleaning my life out and I was again asked if that meant leaving my girlfriend and I told this person "my girlfriend isn't going anywhere she is here to stay and I don't give a crap at all about any bodies 2 cents and that I will never want their 2 cents" and continued to tell this person "my girlfriend is going to be here for an extremely long time and that she isn't dating you or anyone else she is dating me" and I finished with telling this person this "You and everyone else are just jealous because we share something that is so priceless and you don't, we share something that you will never share, we have what you don't have, we have what you will never have, we have what is so out of your reach".

My life is finally going uphill and I am finally happy with my girlfriend who resurrected the Rita that was before all the crazy drama and the shit that went down when I was 16. I was much more uplifted before I was 16 and I enjoyed a lot more but that all changed after I turned 16 why because of the following:
*Bulling
*Depression which I kept hidden
*Classified
*My weight problem
*The cutting
*The burning
*The not eating
*The PTSD got worse
*Bipolar 1 Disorder
*My ex boyfriends
There are only a few of these thing from that list that I am still dealing with today :( and honestly I am starting to really except my mental illness to a point. My life will never be the same especially after what I have been living with for the last year but as the saying goes " What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger". My girlfriend is the one to thank for me being able to finally be normal and less oh yeah isolated in my man cave. She literally is just a person that can bring the best out of anyone. She followed in her Navy Seal father's footsteps and served PG county as a member of the fire department she put her own life in danger to save others and made it her #1 priority to make sure that not one stone went unturned while she was serving. She is one that puts others before herself and one that is extremely tough. My girlfriend on a day to day basis had to see soldiers fall, firefighters fall, lifeless bodies cared out of burning buildings; had many people die in the back of the ambulance as they were transported to the hospital, mothers crying over the lose of there children and loved ones, soldiers who have served her country come back with missing legs or arms. She literally numbed herself every single day and performed her duties with no emotion which is normal with anyone in the line of duty. My girlfriend had her radio with her at her house and every time one of her stations were called out to the scene she literally threw on her clothes and drove with lights and sirens plus a police engine to the station in less then 30-35 minutes. She was always ready for that call every second of the day and she was one of the shortest/skinniest and that came in handy every time they did the jaws of life, she was the one that got inside the car and shielded the victim while they cut open the car and that is why she still is one of the many amazing firefighters.

My girlfriend I started out friends and the we just walked right into dating. How? I honestly don't know. We went from good friends that had this priceless bond to us dating and being each others pride and joy. I went and performed at a blue crabs game with my choir and my girlfriend and after we went home well after getting home I had to go change and got ready for a night of surprises. After I got home and changed I get a text from my girlfriend telling me that rob was acting like a asshole well that when I started burning up and getting angry because rob was being an asshole to her for a shitty reason and I wasn't having it. I was able to calm down and go out but rob did get a wake up that night after we went to dinner , and after my girlfriend gave me this look that I knew wasn't well completely nice. Rob and I took a nice little stroll down to the end of the board walk and we stood there talking until I decided to speak my mind after that well he did the unthinkable which ended with me in my girlfriend's and a foot in his crouch which was well deserved. I knew that something happened while I was in her arms but didn't really fully understand until later which then started a whole new chapter in our life that has been filled up with nothing but love and from us being together we both have been able to just become better people. I have dated a couple people but I have never fallen in love with them until now when I started dating my girlfriend in August of this year she literally captured my heart the first day I met her. For me to fall in love with someone they have to have a heart of gold and that's what she has a heart made of priceless gold.

I asked myself if marriage is right for me even though I am catholic and the answer was yes. Being catholic has nothing to do with my sexuality at all and for me to let my faith get in the way of me being happy is horrible and wrong. To me marriage is for everyone and not just for the Christians/catholics marriage is precious and everyone deserves it.