Babe

I miss you alot and i am so sorry that we have been butting heads since you have been gone. I have been doing my best to stay calm and have been trying to keep a smile on my face. With you gone it has been both good and bad but mostly bad because i am walking on eggshells worring about your heart and lungs. Waking up witbout you blowing my cell up, having tuns of missed calls, voice mail messages from you and it sucks alot. We have all had our bad and good days but that has never changed how we are with each other.

I

                  Am a adoptee
                  Am blogger
                Am song writer
                  Am pro life
                  Am bisexual
                Have a disorder
         Have a past just like you
   Have problems with my weight
     Have problems with my anger
    Have problems with my sight
    Have problems with patients
           Am very strong willed
       Am one to not back down
   Am one to protect what is mine
          Am not one to take bs
          Am a bulletproof vest  
Am not one to be used by anyone
                  Am unique
  Am the same as everyone else
                 Am biracial
         Am a amazing person
          Am a priceless sight
           Am a sinner just like you

Priceless

http://pricelessbutterfly.tumblr.com/post/106036174716/priceless-love

3am

I am sitting here cry because  an amazing person was taken from me  in September and I wish that she wasn't.  We had had our problems and we have spent the last couple of months fighting but that doesn't change the fact that I love her and am praying she gets out before it's to late. September. Wasn't a good month for either of us she was rushed to the hospital by ambulance because her lungs and heart were falling she was literally was hanging on by a thread and she fought to stay here with everything she had.  She was in the hospital a second time and she she was lucky that she was already at the hospital in the waiting area up front waiting for me and when i got to her i saw that she was pail and we walked from the front of the hospital all the way to the E.R and her lungs were  spasming the off and on and then before she was released the doctor told her that her heart was in largest. Its because of her parents and children that she is still here and being her self which is good. Her parents drove down to be here for her court date and left empty handed which was not the plan at all they were suppose to leave maryland with her but instead we sat there while the cuffed her right in front of us and dragged her in the back. Her parents weren't happy at all and on top of that the judge didn't even salute her United States Navy Seal father which is disrespectful. Since she has been behind bars we have been fighting and I have been just trying to wrap my head around all of this and trying to live my life which hasn't been easy. She literally doesn't know how special she is and how her touch changes everything. Even though we are fighting i am still extremely in love with her. I am awake listening to her favorite country singer Brantley Gilbert and thinking about her and praying that the judge sets her free. Priceless love, heart, smile, person, daughter and mother. I am still waiting to see her walk threw that door way a free person and hell i will over joyed if he replaces her jail time with 10 years probation.  

Anyone but me

Kiss all over the body of
cuddle up all tight with
leave hickies all over the body of 

smell the perfume sent of 

wake up in the arms of
wake up to kisses by
put a ring on the finger of 

at the front of the church waiting for
make the heart race of 

put butterflies in the stomach of
pledge your love to 

set fireworks off with

be on cloud nine with
anyone but me

Because I am Taken

100%

A lot of people really don't understand what true love is and a lot of people are so blinded to what is right in front of their faces. Ever since I have come out gay people keep on telling me that what me and my girlfriend share isn't real and I am here to set the record straight and call bullshit on everything and make it very clear that it is 100% real in every way.

Our life

We have all had to face challenges in our life and we all have had to watch people that we love pass away. We all have had to stop things that we enjoy and we all have all had to stop seeing someone that we loved deeply. Threw it all we have survived and have come back on top with amazing strength. God allowed all of these things for a reason and that is to make us stronger in every way.

Your view

What do you see when you look at the drawling? What story is told threw this drawling? Does this drawling hit home when it comes to your life? Do you see something beautiful? Do you see pain? We all see a different story and we all are touched in a different way.

Bipolar 1 Disorder

Depression
Mania
No eating
No sleeping
Non medical compliant
Anger
Dark days
Suicidal
Cutting
Burning
Isolated
High as a kit
Worthless
A demon A alien
Blood shedding
Helpless
Hopelessness
Worthless Meds
Therapist
A curse
Hospital clothes
The blue room
Sleepy
Ignorance
Hated
The devils child
Mood stabler
Ect

1#Successes,2#Hope,3#Dreams

1#Enjoying My life
My drawings
My poems
My songs
My YouTube videos
Me getting up this morning
Medical compliance
Treatment compliance
Sharing My story
My 30 songs

2# That My family fully understand That they will acceptance

3#Becoming a singer
Becoming a publisher
Getting My bounty hunting license To become a public speaker

Acceptance

Is hard Is painful
Is just a lot of work
Is easy
You will never
Is a process Nami
Proper meds
Families Is not
My mom Is
My mom did
Blinders off
Friends weirdos
Friends supporters
Why am I like this
The label
The way people look at me
Denial
A challenge
A good therapist
The ups
The downs
That hug
That shoulder to cry on

Coping skills

Reading
Writing songs
Writing poetry
Listening to music
My little brothers
Writing
My journal
My blog
My YouTube
The Jefferson Patterson. Park

Treatment

Therapist
Meds
Healthy living
Very risky
Very challenging
Relaxation exercises
Running
Walking
Peaceful mind
Emptying my life of crap
Taking time for myself 
Nami
My mom
My friends
P2P class
My family
You have to want it